Children jokes

Jack and Jill went up the hill both with a dollar and a quarter.

Jill came back down with two fifty.

A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little boy next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. The boy is wearing a firefighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat.

The firefighter says, "Hey little partner, what are you doing?"

The little boy says, "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck."

The firefighter walks over to take a closer look. That's sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter says with admiration.

"Thanks mister," the boy says.

The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the boy has tied the wagon to the dog's collar, and to the cat's testicles. The boy says, "You're probably right, mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

Little Joey was sitting in the back of class rubbing his crotch, and the teacher asked, “Joey what are you doing?” Joey replied, “Teacher, my mommy had me circumsized yesterday and it still hurts.” So the teacher sent Joey to the principal's office to call his mother and ask what he should do.

When Joey came back from the office, the teacher noticed that he had his penis hanging out. Shocked, the teacher asked, “Joey, what are you doing!?” Joey answered, “Mommy told me to stick it out till lunch and then she would be here to pick me up.”

A 7-year-old and his 4-year-old brother are upstairs in their bedroom. The 7-year-old is explaining that it is high time that the two of them begin swearing. When his little brother responds enthusiastically, the 7-year old says, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast this morning, I'll say 'hell' and you say 'ass'.'

The 4-year-old happily agrees.
As the two boys are seating themselves at the breakfast table, their mother walks in and asks her older son what he would like to eat for breakfast. The 7-year-old replies, 'Aw hell, Mom, I'll just have some Cheerios."

The surprised mother reacts quickly and whacks him one. The boy runs upstairs, bawling and rubbing his behind. With a sterner note in her voice, the mother then asks the younger son, 'And what would YOU like for breakfast?'

'I don't know,' the 4-year-old blubbers, 'but you can bet your ASS it's not gonna be Cheerios!'