Children jokes

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Children


abc
 
 
Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very scared of doing them in front of the class. The teacher, though, told him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and do it. So, trembling, he stood in front of the class and began.

"ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ."

"Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P?

"It's running down my leg."

late again
 
 
A kid was late for school one day.

"I had to take the bull down to mate with the heifer," he explained to the teacher.

"Couldn't your father have done that?"

"Sure, but the bull would have done a better job."

west virginia custody battle
 
 
The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote section of West Virginia. An old mountaineer and his young wife were getting a divorce in the local court, but custody of the children was a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The old mountaineer also wanted custody of the children.

The judge asked for his side of the story and, after a long moment of silence, the mountaineer slowly rose from his chair and said, "Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"

krazy homework excuses
 
 
  1. Last night I got temporary amnesia and I totally forgot!
  2. My older sister couldn't find her same homework from last year.
  3. The dog did it for me, but it was in his language.
  4. The paper airplane I made out of it accidentally flew out the window.
  5. I fell asleep on it and when I woke up all my drool smudged all the ink.
  6. It is here it's just in invisible ink!
  7. Satan told me not to do it!
  8. I'm at school?!? I thought this was an AA meeting.
  9. My dad's pen ran out of ink.
  10. My Mom ate my homework!

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