Children jokes

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goin' to church
 
 
One Sunday morning a little girl in her Sunday best was running so she wouldn't be late for church.

As she ran she kept praying, "Dear God, please son't let me be late to church. Please don't let me be late to church...." And, as she was running she tripped and fell.

When she got back up she began praying again, "Please, God don't let me be late to church -- but don't shove me either!

checkout conniption
 
 
A man noticed a woman in the grocery store with a three-year-old girl in her cart. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her no. The little girl immediately began to have a conniption, and the mother said quietly, "Now Missy, we just have half of the aisles left to go through - don't be upset. It won't be long."

In the candy aisle, the little girl began to shout for treats. When mom said she couldn't have any, she began to kick her mother and scream. The mother said softly, "There, there, Missy, don't cry - only two more aisles to go and then we'll be checking out."

When they got to the checkout stand, the little brat immediately began to reach for the gum and freaked out when her mom said she couldn't have any. The mother patiently said, "Missy, we'll be through this checkout stand in five minutes and then you can go home and have a bottle and a nice snooze."

The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Missy," he said.

The mother sighed and replied, "Oh, no, my little girl's name is Francine - I'm Missy."

daddy's room
 
 
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, 'Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?'

His mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. 'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in daddy's room.'

A long silence was broken at last by his little voice. 'The big sissy.'

subway series school
 
 
On the first day of school, a teacher asked her class, "Who here is a Mets fan?"

Every student knew that she loved the Mets, so they replied bye raising their hands, except for one girl, Rosie.

The teacher asked, "Who do you like, little girl?" Rosie replied, "I'm a Yankees fan and I hate the Mets."

The teacher asked why and Rosie told her that her parents were Yankees fans, so she was too. The teacher said to the class, "So if Rosie's parents were idiots, what would that make her?"

Rosie chimed in, "A Mets fan!!!"


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