Children jokes

One but he has to get it drunk first.

"Daddy, the cat died today!"

"Well, darling," said the dad. "That's just something that happens."

"But why are his arms and legs up in the air?"

"Well, darling, that's just something they do." She takes the death fairly well and doesn't mention it until a few days later. When the dad comes home, she runs up to him.

"Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I came downstairs and I heard her screaming 'Oh Jesus, take me, take me!' And she had her ams and legs up in the air and if it hadn't been for the mailman tring to revive her she would have died."

The teacher asks him again what is long and yellow and Bobby says, 'An apple!' The teacher says, 'No Bobby, but at least you you were thinking.'

Bobby then looked down in his desk and asked the teacher, 'What is 4 inches long, yellow and has red on the tip?' The teacher says, 'BOBBY!! Is that what I think it is? A penis?' Bobby says, 'No, it's a match, but at least I know you were thinking!!'