Children jokes

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie,
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
they didnt know that Georgie was gay.

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, was he pushed,
or did he fall?
I pushed him.

Mary had a little lamb,
she tied it to a pilon.
1000 volts went up its arse,
and turned it in to nylon.

Baa baa black sheep,
have you any wool?
Yes sir yes sir,
two balls full.

The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose."

The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt."

The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?"

"No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
School lunches stick to the wall.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.

A: She had no arms.