Children jokes

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on his birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in Heaven."

Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!"

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.

And Little Johnny said, "Well... every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!?'"

What is more fun that stapeling babies to a wall?
Ripping them off.

There was a young girl who loved to wear skirts everyday to school.

One day a boy asked her to climb the flag pole for a box of cookies.

She climbed the pole and all the boys in the schoolyard could see her panties.

When she got home she bragged to her mother that she got a box of cookies for climbing a flag pole. The mother knew that the boys just wanted to see up her skirt so she told the girl not to climb the pole again.

The next day the boy asked her to climb the pole for a box of candy. She did and they all saw her panties again.

When she went home she told her mother. Her mother was angry. She told the girl she shouldn't climb the pole. "They just want to see your panties and if you climb the pole again your grounded!"

The next day the same boy asked her to climb the pole for a box of doughnuts, so she climbed the pole again.

When she came home and told her mother what she got for climbing the pole, angrily she said, "I told you they only wanted to see your panties!"

"But mommy", the little girl answered, "this time I was smart enough not to wear any."

A snail owned a car and was painting a big letter 'S' on it. His friend the turtle saw him and asked why and the snail replied, "When people see me drive by they can, 'Say look at the S-car-go".