Foreign jokes

Yo mama is like a brick, flat on both sides and laid by Mexicans.

Three Englishmen were getting soused in a pub, when they spotted an Irishman sitting off in the corner. To have a little fun, one of them approached him.
"Did y'know that St. Patrick was a sissy?"

"Oh, no, I dinnae know that. Thank ye."

The man returned to his friends, complaining that it hadn't worked. The second decided to try.

"Did y'know that St. Patrick was a transvestite?"

"Oh, no, I dinnae know that. Thank ye."

The second man returned to his friends, amazed that it hadn't worked. The third man knew he had the solution.

"Did y'know that St. Patrick was an Englishman?"

"Oh, no. But that's what y'r friends hae been trying to tell me."

The Englishman's, Irishman's and Scotsman's wives go shopping one day to a big department store. While they are there a fire breaks out. Everyone in the store is killed, including the three women. Their husbands are summoned to the local police station where a policewoman breaks the news to them: "I'm afraid sirs, that we believe your wives were killed in the fire at the department store. However the fire was so intense we cannot identify the bodies. Only their handbags survived the blaze. Can you identify your wives' handbags from these three found in the store?"

The three men all look at the handbags and each one is able to identify one of the handbags as belonging to his wife. With all handbags accounted for the policewoman leaves the men to deal with their grief in peace. The three men sit in silence for a while, then the Englishman opens his wife's handbag and rummages through the contents, finally pulling out a half-empty packet of cigarettes and says "All these years married and I never knew the old girl smoked."

The Scotsman looks into his wife's handbag and pulls out a half-empty bottle of scotch. "Jings, I knew her all that time an ah didnae ken ma missus drank."

The Irishman empties his wife's handbag onto the floor, looks through the contents and picks up a half empty packet of condoms. "'Saints preserve us! All dese years an oi never knew me wife was a man."

There were three men working at the top of a building. One was Chinese, one was Mexican, and the other one was Polish.
At lunch they went to the edge and the top of the building. The Mexican guy pulled out a taco and said, "If I get another taco tomorrow, I am gonna jump off this bulding."

The Chinese guy pulled out fried rice and said, "If I get fried rice tomorrow, I'm gonna jump off with you."

The Polish guy pulled out a ham sanwich and said, "If I get another ham sandwich, I'm gonna jump tomorrow with you guys too."

The next day the Mexican guy got a taco, so he jumped off the building. The Chinese guy got fried rice, so he jumped off. The Polish guy got a ham sandwich, so he jumped off.

The next day their wives had a triple funeral. The Mexican guy's wife was crying, and she said, "I could have made him a burrito or something."

The Chinese guy's wife was cring and said, "I could have made him some sushi."

The Polish guy's wife couldn't stop laughing. The other's asked her what she thought was so funny, and she replied, "My husband always made his own lunch."