Foreign jokes

What do you call "fart" in German?

Farfrompoopin!

A Scottish man, an Englishman and an Irishman were sitting in a pub discussing the best pubs around. The Englishman says, 'There's a pub in the West Midlands where the landlord buys you a drink for every that you buy.' The Scot is not impressed and says, 'That's nothing! In the Highlands every time you buy a drink the landlord buys you five.' At this point the Englishman is fairly impressed. The Irishman, totally unimpressed, says 'That's nothing. In Dublin there's this pub where the landlord buys your drinks all night, and then when the bar shuts he takes you into a room and makes love to you.' The Scot and Englishman are well impressed and ask if the Irishman goes there a lot. He replies 'No, but my sister told me about it.'

One night, God spoke to a preacher to tell him what he wanted him to do.

After God had briefed him on his mission, the minister decided to ask him a question.

“God,” he said, “What is heaven like?”

God replied, “Well, normally I don't tell people this, but since you are my servant, I guess I can tell you. Heaven will be like a city. It will have the best of everything. For example, the French will be the chefs; the Italians will be the lovers; the English will be the policeman; the Germans will be the mechanics; and the Dutch will be the politicians!”

The man looked pleased. “What is hell like?” he asked.

“Well,” he said with a sigh, “the French will be the mechanics; the Italians will be the politicians; the English will be the chefs; the Germans will be the policemen; and the Dutch will be the lovers.”

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go to the pub for a drink. The coors President said "Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please."
The bartender gave him the drink.

Then the Budweiser President orders, "The King Of Beers -- Budweiser."
The bartender proceeds with the order.

The Amstel President walks in and orders "The Finest Beer ever."
The bartender gives him an Amstel.

Then the Guinness President says, "I'll have a coke please."
The bartender is taken aback by this but gives the coke to him anyway.

All the Presidents looked over at him and said, "Why have you ordered a coke?"
He replied, "Well if you all aren't drinking beer, then neither shall I."