Foreign jokes

Q: What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

These two Scottish characters are chatting. One of them then pulls out an expensive looking pocket watch from his pocket to check the time.

"That's a fine watch you got there!" says the other.

"Yeah it is, isn't it? I got it from my grandfather," says the guy with the watch.

"Really?"

"Yeah, he sold it to me on his death bed."

Did you hear about the 25 Irish people that drowned?
They were riverdancing.

A man moves from Ireland to New York City, leaving two of his best friends behind to make it in America. To keep their tradition of nightly drinks alive, every night he goes into an Irish-style pub and orders three pints. The bartender, after a month of this, becomes curious, and asks the man what he's doing. Touched by the story, the bartender has the 3 pints ready for the man every time he comes in. One day, the man tells the bartender to only give him 2 pints.

"My condolences," says the bartender, thinking that one of the man's friends has died.

"No, no," says the man, "they're both still alive. I've just quit drinking."