Sports jokes

"Hey, lady", yells Larry, "Throw me the cat!"

"No," she cries, "It's too far!"

"I play football, I can catch him"

The smoke is pouring from the windows, and finally, the woman waves to Larry, kisses her cat goodbye, and tosses it down to the street.

Larry keeps his eye on the cat as it comes hurtling down toward him. The feline bounces off an awning and Larry runs into the street to catch it. He jumps six feet into the air and makes a spectacular one handed catch. The crowd that has gathered to watch the fire breaks into cheers.

Larry does a little dance, lifts the cat above his head, wiggles his knees back and forth, then spikes the cat into the pavement.

Just in case he got a hole in one.

'We're lost!' One of the hikers complained.

'And you said you were the best guide in the United States.'

'I am,' the guide answered, ' but I think we may have wandered into Canada.'

After three days Satan goes to check up on him, but he says,'I live in the Midwest and many summer weekends are hotter than this.'

So Satan tells the demons to turn the temp erature all the way up, and to leave him in for six weeks.

So after six weeks, Satan goes to check up on him, but he says 'I grew up in the Midwest and I can remember dryspells that were hotter and longer than this.'

Well, this really gets to Satan, so he tells the demons to turn the temperature all the way down, and leave him in for six months.

After six months, Satan goes to check up on him, and he is sitting there shivering, asking,, 'What happened? Did the Cubs win the pennant?"