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snail heads for the daytona tracks
 
 
There was this snail who wanted to be a Formula One racing driver. He went along to the track and asked if he could drive. The racing team manager said, "Yes, but you can't have a number on your car, you can only have an 'S' because you are a snail."

The Snail was okay with this is so he entered the race. The race started and the snail's car was at the back...but suddenly he sped to the front, over-taking all the cars and won!!

As the spectators saw the Snail speed past them, they yelled "WOW! LOOK AT THAT S-CAR GO!"

college entrance exam: for football players
 
 
You Must Answer Two (2) or More Questions Correctly to Qualify.

1. What language is spoken in France?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions. OR Give the first name of PIERRE Trudeau.

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to: (a) build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army (d) WRITE A PLAY

4. What religion is the Pope? (Check only one) (a) Jewish (b) CATHOLIC (c) Hindu (d) Swedish (e) Agnostic

5. Metric conversion. How many feet in 0.0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 1?

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (Approximate)

8. What are people in America's far north called? (a) Westerners (b) Southerners (C) NORTHERNERS

9. Spell -- CAT, DOG, PIG

10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.

EXTRA CREDIT: Using your fingers, count from 1-5.

blonde in a swimming race
 
 
A blonde, brunette and a redhead had a breaststroke swimming race across the English Channel. The brunette came in first, the redhead came in second and the blonde never finished.

When the blonde got in the lifeboat she said, 'I don't want to be a tattletale or anything, but the other two used their arms.'

list of short books
 
 

1) A Guide to Arab Democracies
2) A Journey through the Mind of Dennis Rodman
3) Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean
4) Career Opportunities for History Majors
5) Contraception by Pope John Paul II
6) Detroit - A Travel Guide
7) Different Ways to Spell "Bob"
8) Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches
9) Easy UNIX
10) Bulgarian Tips on World Dominance
11) Everything Men Know About Women
12) French Hospitality
13) Bob Dole: The Wild Years
14) How to Sustain a Musical Career by Art Garfunkel
15) Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette
17) Spotted Owl Recipes by the EPA
18) Popular Lawyers
19) Staple Your Way to Success
20) The Amish Phone Book


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