Sports jokes

Why can't DJ's play pool?

Because they always scratch!

A guy walked into a pro-shop with a gorilla. "Is anyone interested in a little wager?" he said, flashing some large bills around. "I've got $500.00 here that says my gorilla can hit the ball longer and straighter than anybody here at this club. In fact, he hits it 500 yards right down the middle . . . every time!"

Everyone in the pro-shop started laughing. After a moment, the newest pro at the club and the longest hitter in the area spoke up, "I gotta see this!" he said. "You know, what? I'll take you up on that wager! Meet you on the first tee."

When they reached the 585-yard par-5 first tee the trainer led the gorilla to the tee box, put a driver in his hands, set a tee in the ground. The gorilla did the rest.

Sure enough, he smashed his drive right down the middle and clear out of sight. When the ball finally came to rest it was on the green -- 6 inches from the cup.

The pro was astonished. "That's incredible!" he exclaimed. "How did you train him to hit the ball like that!" There's no need for me to tee off. I couldn't beat him with a stick. Here's your money."

As the pro walked off the green, still shaking his head, he turned back to the trainer and said, "Oh, by the way, how does he putt?"

The trainer responded,"Just like he drives: 500 yards. Right down the middle. Every time."

You might be a redneck if you think all-star wrestling should be an Olympic sport!

On the seventh day, God said, "Let there be football."

And it was good.

Later that day, God said, "Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence."

With that, he plucked a star from the heavens and placed it on the helmet of silver and blue.

God said, "Let it be called, 'The Dallas Cowboys' - America's team."

Later that day, God said, "Even Cowboys need a**holes."

So he made their fans.