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A: Monica Lewinsky because she's a hooker; O.J. Simpson, since he's a slicer; Ted Kennedy -- he can't drive over water; and Bill Clinton, because he'll go for any hole.
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A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?"
The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless, but also that perhaps this is a good omen, so he says, "Okay," and sinks the putt.
Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole."
The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?"
The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure."
He makes an eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win.
Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?"
The golfer says, "Certainly!" He makes the eagle.
As the golfer walks to the club house, the stranger walks alongside and says, "You know, I've really not been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil, and from now on you will have no sex life."
"Nice to meet you," says the golfer. "My name's Father O'Malley."
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As he wandered the streets he stopped at an antique shop and decided to go in. On looking around he noticed a very strange looking bronze cat which had a tag on it saying, "Bronze Cat $30.00, Story $150.00".
The man was very curious and asked the salesman to explain.
"Well" said the man, "its just like it says, $30 for the cat and $150 for its story".
"I'll just take the cat," said the man.
"Very well, but you will be back," said the salesman.
The man left the shop with the cat in his pocket.
As he walked down the street he heard a strange mewing sound. On turning around he noticed there were a couple of cats following him.
The further he walked the more cats seemed to follow him. As he got to the Brooklyn Bridge he turned to see thousands of cats behind him.
"Screw this!" he said to himself and threw the bronze cat into the river. All the cats jumped into the river too and were drowned.
The man returned to the shop where he bought the cat.
"I knew you would be back. $150.00 for the story," said the salesman.
"Forget the story," said the man. "Have you got a bronze Mets fan?"
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