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drunk musicians
 
 
The St. Louis Symphony was playing Beethoven's Ninth one night. One bass player said to the other: 'We don't have much to do. Let's go next door for a few drinks.' They stayed for a while and got a little tipsy. One said to the other: 'To give us more time, I tied the pages of the music together so the conductor will have to untie it when he gets near the end.'

They staggered back into the auditorium just in time for the finish. The next day when someone asked their friend how the concert was they replied: 'The most exciting part was at the end of the Ninth when the score was tied and the bassists were loaded.'

rocker and ny
 
 
John Rocker was on a NY subway and many people stopped to stare at him. One lady said, "I hate you, Rocker, you dissed New York."

The next person says, "Thanks, Rocker. You dissed homosexuals."

The next guys says, "You dissed people with mental problems."

Rocker is shocked and says, "I didn't say anything about people with mental problems!"

The man smiles and says, "Now people think that all people with mental problems are racist and dumb."

tyson movie deal
 
 
Did you know that Mike Tyson is to appear in the next Batman movie?

He's the Nibbler!

tree shark
 
 
What has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it drops out of a tree, it'll kill you?

A pool table.


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