Sports jokes

13> "None for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your teeth."

12> "Tampax! Get your Tampax here!"

11> "Hey, shut up! I can't hear the race!"

10> "Sex with your sister!? Man, that's sick."

9> "My GOD, this is a splendid Merlot!"

8> "Hey, you with the large breasts — out of the way! We're trying to watch a race here!"

7> "Chesterton, be a good lad and retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my attaché case. Then fetch me some clotted cream for my scone."

6> "What a coincidence, Hank — all my friends are boycotting Hooters, too!"

5> "These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel Richie concert!"

4> "Good morning, Mr. Trickle. We at 'Depends' understand you're looking for a new corporate sponsor..."

3> "Whew! No more beer for me, fellas..."

2> "Filling in for Dale 'The Intimidator' Earnhardt today is substitute driver, Michael 'Lord of the Dance' Flatley."

1> "...and now, singing our national anthem — international recording artist Boy George!"

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play.
2. Play must be permitted by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well-formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Angry course owners have been known to damage players' equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.
10. Players should ensure that the match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.
12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of alignment with, and approach to the hole.
13. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine.
14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request.
15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

Yo mama's so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.

Yo' mama so fat, mountain climbers climb the Himalayas for practice before climbing her!