The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"
A third batter hits a slam and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"
The next batter steadfastly holds his swing four times and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up and yells "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run!"
All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispers to the Scotsman, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls."
After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!!!"
- It's legal to earn money playing hockey
- Many people play hockey even after they're married
- The puck's always hard
- The protective equipment is reusable
- It lasts at least an hour
- A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon
- You always know how big the stick is
- You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding
- You can change players on the fly
- You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up
- Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds
- Your parents cheer when you score
- Periods last only 20 minutes
- You're sure to get it at least twice a week
- You can tell your friends about it afterwards
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