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confucious...baseball
 
 
Confucious say: 'Baseball wrong, man with four balls cannot walk."
a scottish tourist at his first baseball game...
 
 
A Scottish tourist attended his first baseball game in the US and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring "Run....Run!"

The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"

A third batter hits a slam and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"

The next batter steadfastly holds his swing four times and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up and yells "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run!"

All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispers to the Scotsman, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls."

After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!!!"

you might be a redneck if... star spangled
 
 
You might be a redneck if you think the last words of the 'Star Spangled Banner' are 'Gentlemen! Start your engines!'
top 15: why hockey is better than sex
 
 
  1. It's legal to earn money playing hockey
  2. Many people play hockey even after they're married
  3. The puck's always hard
  4. The protective equipment is reusable
  5. It lasts at least an hour
  6. A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon
  7. You always know how big the stick is
  8. You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding
  9. You can change players on the fly
  10. You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up
  11. Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds
  12. Your parents cheer when you score
  13. Periods last only 20 minutes
  14. You're sure to get it at least twice a week
  15. You can tell your friends about it afterwards

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