Sports jokes

A man went to England on a trip and met a woman there, they grew to like each other enough for her to come to America with the man on his flight home. When they got back to America the man said, “I would like to show you an American pastime: baseball.”
So the next day the man took her to a baseball game. The first man came up to the plate and hit the ball to right field and got to first base, the next man bunted the ball and got to first base, and the third man came up to the plate and got walked. The man said, “Are you understanding this game?”
The woman answered, “Yes, but what I don't understand is why the thrower hurls the ball at the first man and he hits it. Then he hurls the ball at the second man and he taps it and runs to where the other man was standing. And then the third man, this is the part I don't understand, the thrower hurls the ball and he just stand there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there then he just walks to the place where the other man was standing.”
Then the man says, “Well that is because he has four balls.”
The woman says, “Poor thing! He couldn't run if he tried.”

You Must Answer Two (2) or More Questions Correctly to Qualify.

1. What language is spoken in France?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions. OR Give the first name of PIERRE Trudeau.

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to: (a) build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army (d) WRITE A PLAY

4. What religion is the Pope? (Check only one) (a) Jewish (b) CATHOLIC (c) Hindu (d) Swedish (e) Agnostic

5. Metric conversion. How many feet in 0.0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 1?

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (Approximate)

8. What are people in America's far north called? (a) Westerners (b) Southerners (C) NORTHERNERS

9. Spell -- CAT, DOG, PIG

10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.

EXTRA CREDIT: Using your fingers, count from 1-5.

How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married?

There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.

A real tough guy dies and goes to hell, well he tells Satan that it won't be all that bad, and thinks hell's all a joke. So Satan tells the demons to turn the thermostat way up, and lock him up for three days.

After three days Satan goes to check up on him, but he says,'I live in the Midwest and many summer weekends are hotter than this.'

So Satan tells the demons to turn the temp erature all the way up, and to leave him in for six weeks.

So after six weeks, Satan goes to check up on him, but he says 'I grew up in the Midwest and I can remember dryspells that were hotter and longer than this.'

Well, this really gets to Satan, so he tells the demons to turn the temperature all the way down, and leave him in for six months.

After six months, Satan goes to check up on him, and he is sitting there shivering, asking,, 'What happened? Did the Cubs win the pennant?"