Children jokes

A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?"

Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system and is very efficient."

"Oh," says the little girl, "I thought it was because she closed her eyes when you lay her down on the couch."

One day a boy came home from school and his mother asked, 'What did you do today, son?' The boy replied, 'I learned a lot in Sex Education class.' The mother, thinking this to be a dirty joke, yelled at him and sent him to his room. Later that day, the daughter comes home and the mother says to her, 'You'll never guess what! Your brother told me he learned a lot in Sex Education class! I sent him to his room!' 'Mom,' the girl said, 'he really does go to a sex education class. He wasn't lying' The mother, feeling very bady about the mixup, goes to the boy's room to apologize. She opens the door to find him masturbating and she says, 'When you are done with your homework, come out here, we have to talk.'

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."

The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."

The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.

Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."

Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!"

How come you can't find lawyers sunbathing on the beach?

Cats keep covering them over with sand.