monks made a mistake
One day, two monks were in the vaults of the monastery going through the old scrolls.
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"You see, there are the originals," said the first monk. "All the new scrolls were copied from these."
"Can I see one?"
"Sure. This is one outlines the rules for monkdom--" All of a sudden, the monk's face turns white and he falls to his knees.
"What? What does it say?"
"Celebrate. IT SAYS CELEBRATE!"
a redneck retaliation
A ventriloquist was making fun of rednecks with his dummy at a bar. Then an angry redneck stood up, rolled up his sleeves ,and yelled, "I resent that!"
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The ventriloquist started apologizing to the redreck.
The redneck looked at him and said, " You stay outta this, I'm talking to the guy on your lap!!!!
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