Foreign jokes

Father Murphy goes into a local bar in Dublin and approaches the first man he sees. "Do you want to go to Heaven?" he asks and the man says, "Indeed I do, Father." "Then for God's sake," commands the priest, "leave this pub right now."

He then goes to the next man, "Do you want to go to Heaven, my son?" And the man answers, "Yes Father, indeed I want to do that very thing." "Then ye must get out of this pub right now!" orders the priest.

Father Murphy continues this throughout the pub until he comes to the last man. "Do you want to go to Heaven, man?!" exhorts the priest. The man looks at his half-full beer, turns, looks at Father Murphy and says, "No, I don't,Father." "You mean to tell me, young man, that when you die, you don't want to go to Heaven?" asks the priest incredulously. "Oh, well, when I die, yes Father, I certainly do. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now!"

A Russian couple were walking down a street in Moscow one night when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

"I think it's raining," he said to his wife.

"No that felt like snow to me, dear," she replied.

"No I'm sure it was just rain," he said. They were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then, they saw a minor communist party official walking towards them.

"Let's not fight about it," the man said. "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether its officially raining or snowing." As the man approached the husband said:

"Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course" he replied and walked on. But the woman insisted.

"I know that felt like snow!"

To which the man quietly said, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

An insect falls into a mug of beer.
English Man: Throws his mug of bear on the floor and walks out.
American Man: Takes out the insect and drinks tbe beer.
Chinese Man: Eats the insect and throws the beer.
Indian Man: Sells the insect to the Chinese and the beer to the Englishman and buys himself a new mug of beer.
Pakistani Man: Accuses the Indian of throwing the insect into his mug, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for military aid and takes a loan to buy another mug of beer.

1. The Italian Book Of War Heroes
2. The Norwegian Book Of Cookery
3. The Scottish Book Of Knowledge