Foreign jokes

After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me -- all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, 'Ma'am,' he said, 'do all these children and this luggage belong to you?'

'Yes, sir,' my mother said with a sigh, 'they're all mine.'

The customs agent began his interrogation: 'Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?'

'Sir,' she calmly answered, 'if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now.'

An insect falls into a mug of beer.
English Man: Throws his mug of bear on the floor and walks out.
American Man: Takes out the insect and drinks tbe beer.
Chinese Man: Eats the insect and throws the beer.
Indian Man: Sells the insect to the Chinese and the beer to the Englishman and buys himself a new mug of beer.
Pakistani Man: Accuses the Indian of throwing the insect into his mug, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for military aid and takes a loan to buy another mug of beer.

Gumor said to Selma. Selma can I put my finger in your bellybutton? Selma said "No."

Gumor asked her again Selma can I put my finger in your bellybutton? Selma said "No."

Gumor asks her again Selma can I put my finger in your bellybutton? Selma says "OK."

A minute later Selma says Gumor that's not my bellybutton. Gumor says, 'Suprise, Suprise! That's not my finger either.'

I saw an interview in which an expert on military history said that Saddam Hussein actually has a law degree. He went on to point out that the degree was granted under somewhat unusual circumstances: Saddam Hussein was accompanied by two heavily armed guards into the examination room, and apparently it was felt that there was no need to grade the exam.

Upon hearing this, my first thought was that Saddam had cheated. But the expert quickly pointed out that the incident demonstrates that Saddam really has an excellent understanding of Iraqi law.