Children jokes

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seagull's final resting place
 
 
A four-year-old boy and his father went to the beach. There was a dead seagull lying on the sand. The boy asked his father, 'Dad, what happened to the birdie?'

His dad told him, 'Son, the bird died and went to heaven.'

Then the boy asked, 'Did God throw him back down?'

donations to the preacher
 
 
After the church service, a little boy told the pastor he was going to give him a lot of money when he grew up.

'Well, thank you,' the pastor replied, 'but why?'

'Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had!'
a lady and her baby...
 
 
A lady and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver looks at the lady, and then her baby, and then screams, "AHHHH! That's the ugliest child I've ever seen in my life!"

The lady then, totally disgusted, marches up to the back of the bus to sit down.

As she was sitting there absolutely furious, a man asks, "Are you ok, dear?"

The lady replies, "I'm so angry, that bus driver just insulted me."

The man says, "You go back up there and give that bus driver a piece of your mind, and I'll watch your monkey."

perfect penis
 
 
Little Johnny walked in one day on his daddy in the bathroom. He asked his father what that was hanging between his legs. His father replied that it was the perfect penis. The next day at school, Johnny pulled his pants down in front of his classmates.

'What's that?' asked Jenny.

'Well,' said Johnny, 'if it was about 3 inches smaller, it would be the perfect penis.'


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