Thanks, says the guy, "It's the cutting edge of technology. I can telepathically ask this watch anything I want to know, and it'll answer me, telepathically."
"Rubbish," says the girl.
"No, it's true," says that guy. "Look, tell you what, I'll prove it. I'll ask it if you've got any panties on."
The guy scrunches up his eyes for a moment, as if concentrating hard to talk to his watch, then opens them and says, "Nope, it says you haven't got any panties on."
"Well, it's wrong," says the girl, "I do have panties on."
"Damn," says the guy, slapping his watch, "it's an hour fast!"
'If you know what's good for you, don't come near me again or I'll rip off your little tallywagger!' yelled the mean-looking man.
The leprechaun snickered and started on another pitcher of beer, while his friend told him he thought it would be better not to harass this guy again. A few pitchers of beer later, the leprechaun was beginning to feel pretty intoxicated and fun-loving. Once again, he looked down at the end of the bar and saw the same mean-looking man sitting there. The leprechaun chuckled, ran to the end of the bar to stand in front of the same man, began laughing hysterically, stuck out his tongue and spit all over him again. The angry man reached out to grab the drunk little leprechaun and was successful in capturing him.
'All right, I've got you this time. I warned you before that if you came near me again I would rip off your little tallywagger and that is what I intend to do!'
The leprechaun laughed again and said, 'You can't do that!'
'Why not?' asked his captor.
'Because,' giggled the leprechaun, 'Leprechauns don't have tallywaggers!'
'Whadda ya mean you don't have a tallywagger?' growled the angry man, 'How in the hell do ya pee?'
'Just like this!' laughed the leprechaun as he stuck out his tongue and spit with all his might.
The owner jumps up and walks over to the girl. You're the 3rd person to enter my bar and I'm going to name it after you.
Okay, she says, my name is Jill.
The owner looks her over and says, I like your legs so I'm going to name the bar 'Jill's Legs'
The next day a bum is sitting outside the bar and a cop askes him what he's doing. He answers, Waiting for Jill's Legs to open so I can get a drink!
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