Barroom jokes

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vampires in a bar
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, 'I'll have a pint of blood.'

The second one says, 'I'll have one, too.'

The third one says, 'I'll have a pint of plasma.'

The bartender says, 'So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?'

a man walks out of a bar totally hammered...
A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look at him.

"You, sir, are drunk!"

"And you ma'am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I will be sober!"

libraries are sexy
You got any overdue library books? 'Cause you got fine written all over you!
how many irishmen does it take...
How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room spins around.

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