Barroom jokes

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Barroom


how many irishmen does it take...
 
 
How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room spins around.

huge pause
 
 
A bear walks into a bar and says, "I want a bourbon and............... coke"

The bartender asks "what's with the huge pause?"

The bear says, "I've had them all my life."
heading for trouble
 
 
A guy and his son go into a bar. The son is a miracle of nature and is just a head. The man asks the bartender for two shots. The man takes one shot and gives the other one to his son. The son swallows down the drink and out pops an arm.

The man thought, "Hey this is good."

So he asks for two more shots. He drinks one and gives the other to his son again, and out pops another arm.

The man the asks for a double and gives it to his son. The son throws it down and suddenly explodes.

The bartender looks over at the man and says, "Looks like he should have quit while he was ahead."

shoulda quit while...
 
 
A man and woman had a son but when he was born all he was was a head. The doctors didn't expect him to live very long. But the boy survived, so on his eighteenth birthday his father took him out to a bar for a drink.

The father ordered his son a scotch and when the boy drank it, out popped an arm. He was ecstatic so he drank another shot, and out popped another arm. Now the boy was in glee, so he drank another shot, and out popped a torso. And so on and so forth, until there was a whole body.

The boy was so happy that he ran out of the bar and into the street and got hit by a truck, killing him instantly. A drunkard in the corner looked at the father and said, 'He shoulda quit while he was a head!'


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