Barroom jokes

What has 72 arms and 36 heads an has an I.Q. of 12?

A redneck bar on friday night

"I met my wife at a singles' bar."

"Really?"

"I thought she was home with the kids."

Did you hear about the man who got drunk?
It was his own fault for sitting in a teacup!

When the Lord gave out brains, I thought he said trains and I missed mine! When he gave out looks, I thought he said books, and I didn't want any! When he gave out noses, I thought he said Four Roses, and I ordered a big one! When he gave out legs, I thought he said kegs, and I ordered two fat ones! When he gave out ears, I thought he said beers, and I ordered two long ones! When the Lord gave out chins, I thought he said gins, and I said 'Give me a double' Oh Lord! I'm a mess!