Barroom jokes

When the Lord gave out brains, I thought he said trains and I missed mine! When he gave out looks, I thought he said books, and I didn't want any! When he gave out noses, I thought he said Four Roses, and I ordered a big one! When he gave out legs, I thought he said kegs, and I ordered two fat ones! When he gave out ears, I thought he said beers, and I ordered two long ones! When the Lord gave out chins, I thought he said gins, and I said 'Give me a double' Oh Lord! I'm a mess!

Why doesn't the blonde want to drink beer on the beach?

Because she doesn't want to get sand in her Busch.

A guy walks into a pub and says, 'Can you remove this steering wheel from my pants?'

The bartender says, 'Why is that there? Is it annoying?'

"Yes," the man said, 'it's driving me nuts."

Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, "61 days 61 days!"

The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, "Why are you chanting 61 days?"

One of the three answer, "Because the box said 3-6- years!"