Barroom jokes

Your Mother and Father Are of the Same Genetic Background

Mexicans Smell Vaguely of Jalapenos

Last Night You Enjoyed Carnal Pleasures With Your Sister

Your Intelligence Quota is Dubious at Best

For a Moderate Fee I Believe Your Mother Would Fellate Me

You Have Had Intimate Relations With a Person of African Descent and You Shall Never Know the Love of a Caucasian Again.

You Look Upon Your Dog With Lust

Methinks You Have the Odor of Fecal Matter Upon You

I Partook in Intercourse with Your Sister's Derriere

The Acne on Your Face Spreads Throughout Your Nether Regions

The People of France Know Not the Joys of Deodorant

A Hamster is Superior in Intelligence to Your Mother

For An Evening of Sordid Delights Involving Both Sadism and Masochism, Please Ring Mary at 212.555.5555

Ryan Beaugarde is Inadequate in the Ways of Oral Enjoyment

The Heavy Metal Rock Band Entitled Motley Crue is Quite First-Rate

Your Sexually Promiscuous Mother Can Be Found in the Phone Book Under "Whore"

Homosexuals Are Men Who Have Intercourse With Other Men. If You Participate in Such Activities You Are A Homosexual

Your Father's Proclivities Lead Him to Engage in Relations with Livestock

President Bush is Missing a Chromosome

The Toilet Upon Which You Currently Sit is Sprayed with a Mixture of Vomit, Feces and Urine.

The person replies, "I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?"

The man thinks for a while and replies, "Not if I have to explain it three times."

The man replies, "Oh, it's the newest technology -- I have a phone built right into my hand." The man puts his hand next to the bartender's ear and, sure enough, the bartender hears a dial tone.

After a few drinks, the man goes into the bathroom. The bartender notices that he has been gone for almost a half-hour. Concerned, he goes into the bathroom to check it out. When he walks in, he sees the man with his hands on the wall standing with his legs apart and pants down. He has the end of a roll of paper towels shoved up his butt. Shocked, the bartender yells, "What are you doing?!"

The man groans and replies, "I'm waiting for a fax."

The duck says, "Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass."