Barroom jokes

This went on for a while until the bartender finally asked, "How come you ask for a beer, chug it, then look in your pocket?"

The man said, "Because there is a picture of my wife in my pocket and I'm gonna keep drinking till she looks good enough to go home."

"Because you're not wearing a tie," says the bouncer.

"But I have come all the way from the other end of town," says the guy.

"Sorry mate, that's the rules," says the bouncer.

So the guy goes back to his car to try and see if he can find a tie or something like one. He finds a set of jumper cables, ties them around himself, and goes back to the club.

"Is this all right?" he asks the bouncer.

"Well, all right then," replies the bouncer. "But I'll be watching you - don't start anything!"

The bar tender said, "Why the big paws?"