Barroom jokes

A blonde sat at the bar when the bartender's son swaggers in. When he tells his father of his promotion and raise, the bartender calls for everyone's attention and announces that all drinks are on the house. When the blonde heard this, she ran outside and brought back a ladder.

A man was in a bar all day and he had to use the bathroom. He was in there for a while, yelling, so the barmaid reluctantly went to the bathroom to check on him.

"Sir, what are you yelling about? You're scaring the customers."

"Every time I try to flush the toilet something keeps biting my balls!"

"Sir, please get off the mop bucket."

Q: What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
A: About five drinks.

A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional and said nothing.
The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting.
The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's attention, but still the man says nothing.
The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.
Finally the drunk replies, 'No use knockin,' pal. There's no paper."