Barroom jokes

A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner.

"Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't then you buy me one. OK?"

"Ja, dat sounds purty good," said the Norwegian.

The Indian said, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"

The Norwegian scratched his head and finally said, "I give up. Who vas it?"

"It was ME," chortled the Indian.

So the Norwegian paid for the drinks.

Back in Sioux Falls the Norwegian went into the bar and spotted one of his cronies.

"Sven," he said, "I got a game. If you can answer a question, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't, you have to buy me vun. Fair enough?"

"Fair enough," said Sven.

"Ok," the Norwegian said, "my father and mudder had vun child. It vasn't my brudder. It vasn't my sister. Who vas it?"

"Search me," said Sven. "I give up, who vas it?"

The Norwegian burst out, "It vas some Indian up in Fargo, North Dakota!"

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, 'Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?' She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, 'No, I won't sleep with you tonight...you pig '

Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table with a red face. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, 'I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing public situations.' To which he responds, screaming at the top of his lungs, 'What do you mean $200 for a BJ?'

A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars.'

The bear replies, 'If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over there.'

The bartender says, 'Go ahead.'

So the bear eats the lady and asks for a beer. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't give beer to bears on drugs.'

'What do mean,' says the bear. 'I'm not on drugs.'

'Yes, you are, that was the barbituate.'

Q: What's the difference between a beer and a woman?
A: You can have more than one beer and not feel guilty.