Barroom jokes

If it weren't for the olives in martinis, yo' mama would starve to death.

A cop pulls over a car that's been swerving across the lanes of a road.
"Get out of the car, please."
"But I'm not drunk, officer!"
"Listen, it doesn't matter if you're drunk or not. If you don't get out of this car, I'll arrest you anyway."
"Fine," says the man and gets out of the car.
"Okay, now walk this yellow line." The man looks at the line.
"Which one of them do I walk on?"

Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do I have to walk by again?

Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City. They both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and says "So where are you from, then?"

"I'm from Ireland."

"Me too! I'll drink to that." They both finish their pints and order two more.

"Where in Ireland are you from?"

"Dublin."

"Me too! I'll drink to that." They both finish their pints and order two more.

"Where in Dublin are you from?"

"The East Side."

"The East Side? Me too! What a coincidence! I'll drink to that!" They both finish their pints and order two more.

"Where on the East Side are you from?"

"McDonagh Street."

"Me too! This is incredible! I'll drink to that."

As the bartender pours them another two pints, another customer at the bar says to him, "That's amazing! I can't believe they're from the same street in Dublin. What's going on?"

"Oh, it's nothing amazing," says the bartender,"it's just the Ferguson twins getting sloshed again."