Barroom jokes

Two cups of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind in here." One cup of yogurt says, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."

A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, "All lawyers are a**holes!" He looks around, obviously hoping for a challenge.

Finally a guy comes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, "Take that back."

The biker says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"

"No, I'm an a**hole."

Men, please read this if you go to bars or clubs:

Guys, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from a girl. There is a drug called "beer" that is essentially in liquid form.

The most effective varieties are being shipped in from other countries. "Beer" is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to convince their male victims to have sex with them.

The shocking statistic is that this "beer" is available virtually anywhere! All girls have to do is buy a beer or two for almost any guy and simply ask the guy home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are literally rendered helpless against such attacks. Please! Forward this to every man you know... There is safety in numbers...

These three guys got together one day and were talking about how drunk they got at a party the night before.

The first guy said, 'Man I was so drunk last night I went home and blew chunks.'

The second guy said, 'Man that was nothing I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I got my DWI.'

The third guy says, "Man that was nothing. I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed.'

Then the first guy said, 'No -- you guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"