Barroom jokes

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'

The grasshopper looks surprised and says, 'You have a drink named Steve?'

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go to the pub for a drink. The coors President said "Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please."
The bartender gave him the drink.

Then the Budweiser President orders, "The King Of Beers -- Budweiser."
The bartender proceeds with the order.

The Amstel President walks in and orders "The Finest Beer ever."
The bartender gives him an Amstel.

Then the Guinness President says, "I'll have a coke please."
The bartender is taken aback by this but gives the coke to him anyway.

All the Presidents looked over at him and said, "Why have you ordered a coke?"
He replied, "Well if you all aren't drinking beer, then neither shall I."

A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?"

Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose."

And the bartender says, 'Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.'

There were three men in a bar. All three were sitting at the bar stool and one got up to use the bathroom. The other two men started talking. One man said, 'So what's new in your life?'
The other responded, 'Well I just found out my son got a promotion. He used to be a janitor at the bank and now he is an executive. On top of that there's someone special in his life. He just bought his new love a brand new Lexus.'
The other man says, 'My son also got a promotion and he has decided to settle down. He bought his new love a new house on the beach.'
The third man comes back from the bathroom. He looked kind of upset so the other two men asked what's eating him. He responded, 'I just found out that my son is gay. The good part is his lover bought him a brand new Lexus and a new house on the beach.'