Barroom jokes

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gay pick-up line
Did you hear about the new pick up line going around the gay bars?

"May I push in your stool?"

mike tyson's beer
Did you hear Mike Tyson invented a beer?

It's called Nick-A-Lobe

fly in my guinness

An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and land in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches into the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"

alligators and women
A man walks into a bar with an alligator on a leash. Once he is in the bar he tells all the patrons that are present that for a round of drinks from everyone in the bar he will insert his penis into the alligator's mouth and remove it unscathed. All the bar goers accepted the dare and each put up a drink. the man walks up to the alligator, takes his penis out of his pants and puts into the alligator's mouth. He then grabs a beer bottle and smashes it over the alligator's head. The alligator immediately opens his mouth and the man removes his penis unscathed.
The crowd is left in awe.
The man then says, 'If there is anyone here who is willing do the same thing, I will give them $500.'
From the back of the bar a woman stands up and says, 'I'll do it, if you promise not to smash the beer bottle over my head!'

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