Barroom jokes

Jokes » barroom » jokes 25

Barroom


the three little pigs
 
 
Once upon a time, Three Little Pigs walk into a bar. The first pig orders 10 beers, downs them, and then asks for the bathroom. The second pig orders 15 beers, downs them, and asks for the bathroom. The third pig orders 20 beers, downs them, and then sits there eating peanuts.

"Aren't you going to ask for the bathroom?" asks the bartender.

"Nope. I'm the pig who goes wee-wee-wee all the way home."

night club
 
 
A guy goes to a nightclub and when the bouncer won't let him in the guy asks, "'Why not?"

"Because you're not wearing a tie," says the bouncer.

"But I have come all the way from the other end of town," says the guy.

"Sorry mate, that's the rules," says the bouncer.

So the guy goes back to his car to try and see if he can find a tie or something like one. He finds a set of jumper cables, ties them around himself, and goes back to the club.

"Is this all right?" he asks the bouncer.

"Well, all right then," replies the bouncer. "But I'll be watching you - don't start anything!"

tiny headed man
 
 
A guy with a very small head was sitting at a bar, drinking, when the bartender asked him why his head was so small. The man sighed.

"I was walking along the beach one day and happened upon a lamp. A beautiful genie came out of the lamp and said that she would grant me 3 wishes. First, I wished for all the money in the world. Then I wished for the biggest mansion in all the world."

"Yeah?"

"And then I wished for a little head."

bar: cockney steering wheel
 
 
A guy walks into a pub and says, 'Can you remove this steering wheel from my pants?'

The bartender says, 'Why is that there? Is it annoying?'

"Yes," the man said, 'it's driving me nuts."


Page 26 of 76     «« Previous | Next »»