"Aren't you going to ask for the bathroom?" asks the bartender.
"Nope. I'm the pig who goes wee-wee-wee all the way home."
"Because you're not wearing a tie," says the bouncer.
"But I have come all the way from the other end of town," says the guy.
"Sorry mate, that's the rules," says the bouncer.
So the guy goes back to his car to try and see if he can find a tie or something like one. He finds a set of jumper cables, ties them around himself, and goes back to the club.
"Is this all right?" he asks the bouncer.
"Well, all right then," replies the bouncer. "But I'll be watching you - don't start anything!"
"I was walking along the beach one day and happened upon a lamp. A beautiful genie came out of the lamp and said that she would grant me 3 wishes. First, I wished for all the money in the world. Then I wished for the biggest mansion in all the world."
"Yeah?"
"And then I wished for a little head."
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