Barroom jokes

One day a man walked in a bar with a box. He sat down, opened the box and out popped a leprechaun. The man told the bartender, "I want a pint of beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here."

There was man sitting at the end of the bar watching all of this and, after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar and spit in the guy's face. Then he ran back.

The guy with the box said, "I'll have another beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here."

After the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he again ran to the end of the bar and spit in the man's face, then dashed back.

The guy with the box ordered another beer for himself and another shot for the leprechaun. Again, the after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar. But this time the man was waiting for him and he grabbed the leprechaun and held him in the air.

He said, "If you spit in my face again, I'm going to cut your pecker off."

The leprechaun laughed and said, "Leprechauns don't have peckers."

Then the man said, "If you don't have peckers, then how do you pee?"

"By spitting," said the leprechaun.

Five little pigs walk into a bar. The first pig asks the bartender for a beer. The pig finishes the beer and asks where the bathroom is.

The second pig goes up to the bartender and asks for two beers. The second pig finishes the two beers and asks where the bathroom is.

The third and fourth pig go up to the bartender and ask for three and four beers. After finishing their beers, they ask where the bathroom is.

The fifth pig goes up to the bar, but before he can order, the bartender says, "You don't have to say anything, you want five beers, right?"

The fifth pig says to him, "Right, but I'm the pig that goes wee wee all the way home.

Two cups of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind in here." One cup of yogurt says, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."

A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, "All lawyers are a**holes!" He looks around, obviously hoping for a challenge.

Finally a guy comes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, "Take that back."

The biker says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"

"No, I'm an a**hole."