Barroom jokes

The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."

With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.

The man says, "I want two more of these."

"It's a ghost, dude!"

"Roll down the window, ask him what he wants!" The driver rolls down the window, and asks the ghost.

"You got a smoke?" They give him a smoke, and the face goes away. A few minutes later, the face returns.

"You got a light?" They give a light, and the face goes away. A few minutes later, the face returns.

"You guys need help getting out the mud?"

"Because you're not wearing a tie," says the bouncer.

"But I have come all the way from the other end of town," says the guy.

"Sorry mate, that's the rules," says the bouncer.

So the guy goes back to his car to try and see if he can find a tie or something like one. He finds a set of jumper cables, ties them around himself, and goes back to the club.

"Is this all right?" he asks the bouncer.

"Well, all right then," replies the bouncer. "But I'll be watching you - don't start anything!"

The leprechaun decided to go for it, and he succeed in making the donkey laugh. So he goes to the bartender and asks for his pot of gold. The bartender says, "Ok, but first you have to tell us how you did it."

The leprechaun says, "I can't tell you, it's a leprechaun secret."

So the bartender says, "Then I can't give you the pot of gold." The leprechaun gets very angry and walks off.

He comes back the next day and sees a sign that says: "Win a pot of gold if you can make the donkey cry." So he trys it, and he makes the donkey cry.

He goes up to the bartender and asks for his pot of gold. But the bar attendant tells him, "First you have to tell me how you did it.

So the leprechaun says, "Alright, yesterday I told him I told him that I have a bigger penis then him, and today I showed him."