Barroom jokes

"May I push in your stool?"

The leprechaun decided to go for it, and he succeed in making the donkey laugh. So he goes to the bartender and asks for his pot of gold. The bartender says, "Ok, but first you have to tell us how you did it."

The leprechaun says, "I can't tell you, it's a leprechaun secret."

So the bartender says, "Then I can't give you the pot of gold." The leprechaun gets very angry and walks off.

He comes back the next day and sees a sign that says: "Win a pot of gold if you can make the donkey cry." So he trys it, and he makes the donkey cry.

He goes up to the bartender and asks for his pot of gold. But the bar attendant tells him, "First you have to tell me how you did it.

So the leprechaun says, "Alright, yesterday I told him I told him that I have a bigger penis then him, and today I showed him."

The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"

The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."

Your Mother and Father Are of the Same Genetic Background

Mexicans Smell Vaguely of Jalapenos

Last Night You Enjoyed Carnal Pleasures With Your Sister

Your Intelligence Quota is Dubious at Best

For a Moderate Fee I Believe Your Mother Would Fellate Me

You Have Had Intimate Relations With a Person of African Descent and You Shall Never Know the Love of a Caucasian Again.

You Look Upon Your Dog With Lust

Methinks You Have the Odor of Fecal Matter Upon You

I Partook in Intercourse with Your Sister's Derriere

The Acne on Your Face Spreads Throughout Your Nether Regions

The People of France Know Not the Joys of Deodorant

A Hamster is Superior in Intelligence to Your Mother

For An Evening of Sordid Delights Involving Both Sadism and Masochism, Please Ring Mary at 212.555.5555

Ryan Beaugarde is Inadequate in the Ways of Oral Enjoyment

The Heavy Metal Rock Band Entitled Motley Crue is Quite First-Rate

Your Sexually Promiscuous Mother Can Be Found in the Phone Book Under "Whore"

Homosexuals Are Men Who Have Intercourse With Other Men. If You Participate in Such Activities You Are A Homosexual

Your Father's Proclivities Lead Him to Engage in Relations with Livestock

President Bush is Missing a Chromosome

The Toilet Upon Which You Currently Sit is Sprayed with a Mixture of Vomit, Feces and Urine.