Barroom jokes

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Barroom


steering wheel
 
 
A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel shoved down his pants. The barman looks at him curiously and says, 'Buddy, you know you got a steering wheel shoved down your pants?' The man answers, 'Yeah, I know! It's been driving me nuts all day.'
3 please
 
 
An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?" The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please."

So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.

The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."

The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.

The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.

The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."

The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine - I just quit drinking."

coincidentally
 
 
Q: What did the bartender say when a priest, a boyscout, and a blonde walked in?

A: Is this a joke?

culture shock
 
 
Two cups of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind in here." One cup of yogurt says, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."

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