Barroom jokes

A guy and his son go into a bar. The son is a miracle of nature and is just a head. The man asks the bartender for two shots. The man takes one shot and gives the other one to his son. The son swallows down the drink and out pops an arm.

The man thought, "Hey this is good."

So he asks for two more shots. He drinks one and gives the other to his son again, and out pops another arm.

The man the asks for a double and gives it to his son. The son throws it down and suddenly explodes.

The bartender looks over at the man and says, "Looks like he should have quit while he was ahead."

Q: What do the men in a singles bar have in common?
A: They're all married.

A bear walks into a bar and says, "I want a bourbon and............... coke"

The bartender asks "what's with the huge pause?"

The bear says, "I've had them all my life."

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a Redneck joke. The bartender replies, "Well, I'm a Redneck and those three large gentlemen over at that table are too. So do you still want to tell your Redneck joke?" The man replies, "Nevermind, I don't want to explain it four times."