seagull's final resting place
A four-year-old boy and his father went to the beach. There was a dead seagull lying on the sand. The boy asked his father, 'Dad, what happened to the birdie?'
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His dad told him, 'Son, the bird died and went to heaven.'
Then the boy asked, 'Did God throw him back down?'
stayin' alive
A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life.
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He said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you'll live to a nice ripe old age."
So the cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to the nice ripe old age of 96.
When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren
...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
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