Sports jokes

Because his purse didn't match his shoes.

Bill Gates jumps out and yells, 'God bless me and my bank account!'

Michael Jordan jumps out and yells, 'God bless me and my team!'

Wayne Gretzky jumps out and yells, 'God bless me and the New York Rangers!'

The big, fat lady jumps out without a parachute and yells, 'God bless me and the people I land on!'

So they don't miss the hockey game.

Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol..."

Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"

"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.

Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"

"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."

"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.

Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."

Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"

Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."