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Children


fish brains
 
 
Q: What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?

A: Dam

having to take a whisper
 
 
Once there was a liitle boy in church. He had to go to the bathroom so he told his mother, 'Mommy, I have to piss.'

The mother said, 'Son don't say piss in church. Next time you have to piss, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite.

The next Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time, and once again, he had to go to the bathroom.

He told his father, 'Daddy I have to whisper.'

The father said, 'OK. Here, whisper in my ear.'

dad eats lightbulbs
 
 
Little Johnny has to write a story about someone in his family that does something amazing. The next day, he returns and tells the class that his father eats lightbulbs.

"How do you know that?" asks his teacher.

"I heard him say it. He and Mom were in the bedroom and he said 'I'll only eat that thing if you turn out the light.'"

daughter's prayer
 
 
A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Dear, would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldn't know what to say," replied the little girl, shyly.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie," the woman said.

Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said, "Dear Lord, why the hell did I invite all these people to dinner!?!"


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