Children jokes

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Children


in the family closet
 
 
Just as mom walks though the door, little Jonny comes running over. He says 'Mommy, Mommy. I was playing in daddy's closet and he can in with the lady next door and they started kissing and then they took off each others clothes and laid down on the bed...'

The mother interupts him. 'Stop right there!! Wait 'till daddy comes home!!'

When the father finally returns from work, mother promptly goes up to him and says 'I'm leaving you.'

The father, bewildered, slowly asks 'Why!?! What did I do??'

The mother turns to Jonny and says ' tell daddy exactly what you told me today!'

'I was playing in daddy's closet and he came in with the lady next door and they started kissing and then they took each other's clothes off and laid down on the bed...just like what you and Uncle Joe did last summer.'

hang man
 
 
A boy comes running into the kitchen and says, "Mommy, mommy! Grandpa hanged himself in the living room!"

His mother runs into the living room, and sees no one there. Angrily, she says, "Listen. You should never lie like that to me again, do you understand!?!"

"I'm sorry," says the boy. "I was just kidding. He hanged himself in the basement."

discrimination
 
 
It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today. 'Well, I played in the sandbox,' she said. The teacher said, 'If you can spell sand, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie.' So Susie did.

Then Billy came in and the teacher asked what he did. 'I played in the sandbox with Susie,' he said. 'If you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie,' the teacher said. So Billy did.

Then the little Russian boy said, 'Well, I wanted to play in the sandbox, but Billy and Susie were throwing rocks at me.'

The teacher said, 'Well, that sounds like discrimination. If you can spell that, I'll give you a cookie.'

orgy at never neverland
 
 
Q: How can you tell Michael Jackson's having an orgy at Never Neverland?

A: By all the Big Wheels parked outside!


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