They said, 'We are measuring this pole.'
The man asks, 'Why didn't you measure it on the ground?'
They said, 'We know how long it is, now we want to know how tall it is.'
"I'd like to try the bet," he said in a tiny, squeaky voice. After the laughter had died down, the bartender grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. He handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000 and asked the little man what he did for a living. Was he a lumberjack, or a weightlifter, or what?
"I work for the IRS."
'I've been here before and gotten a drink, I'll go get us something to drink,' said the second string. The second sting walks up to the bar and politely asks the bartender for three beers.
The bartender says, 'I thought I told your buddy we don't serve strings in here.' So the second string walks back and and tells his friends what has happened.
The thrid string says 'Oh, I come in here all the time, I know how to order something to drink' The third sting walks to the restroom where he ties himself up and muffs up his end. He then walks out to the bar and asks the bartender for three beers.
The bartender kind of looks at him weird and says, 'You a string?'
"Frayed knot,'he replies.
The two guys drink their pints and Fred says, "Right donkey your round; I'll have a pint of Guiness."
Donkey walks up to the bar and says, "2 p p p p pints of g g g g Guiness p p p please."
While donkey gets the pints, Fred goes to the toilet and the barman says, "Say, you shouldn't let him call you that stupid nickname."
Donkey replies, "I know. He aw.. he aww... he awwwwww, he always calls me 'Donkey.'"
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