Children jokes

There was a couple who did not want their children to know when they were going to have sex, so they decided on a code of 'writing a letter.'

One day, Daddy said to his daughter, 'Tell your mommy that Daddy wants to write a letter.' The girl went and told her mommy and the mom said, 'The red ribbon is coming out, not now.' The girl went back to the daddy and told him.

One day, Mommy told her daughter to tell her daddy that she wanted to write a letter. Daddy replied, 'Not now. Daddy already wrote the letter by hand.'

A little boy and his father are walking down the street, and they see two dogs having sex.

The little boy asks his father, "Daddy, what are they doing?"

The father says, "Making a puppy." So they walk on and go home.

A few days later, the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. The little boy says, "Daddy, what are you doing?"

The father replies, "Making a baby."

The little boy says, "Well, flip her around! I'd rather have a puppy."

There was a young girl who loved to wear skirts everyday to school.

One day a boy asked her to climb the flag pole for a box of cookies.

She climbed the pole and all the boys in the schoolyard could see her panties.

When she got home she bragged to her mother that she got a box of cookies for climbing a flag pole. The mother knew that the boys just wanted to see up her skirt so she told the girl not to climb the pole again.

The next day the boy asked her to climb the pole for a box of candy. She did and they all saw her panties again.

When she went home she told her mother. Her mother was angry. She told the girl she shouldn't climb the pole. "They just want to see your panties and if you climb the pole again your grounded!"

The next day the same boy asked her to climb the pole for a box of doughnuts, so she climbed the pole again.

When she came home and told her mother what she got for climbing the pole, angrily she said, "I told you they only wanted to see your panties!"

"But mommy", the little girl answered, "this time I was smart enough not to wear any."

Why did the zombie baby cross the road?

To wreak an unholy vengeance upon the driver of the car who's standing there, scratching his head, trying to figure out how a zombie baby's head can be beneath his car tires but the rest of the body is nowhere to be seen-- unless he were to turn around and notice the zombie baby body bearing down on him, coming ever closer, ready with grasping, pudgy zombie baby fingers to tear and rend at the flesh of this self-same driver who ran his head over, on the dark and rain-swept road that snakes down from the castle of the madman who's creating an army of zombie babies to do his dark, libidinal bidding.