the irishman's wish
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.
The man says, "I want two more of these."
don't drink and not drive
Two drunk guys stumble out of a bar and get into their car. After they've been driving for a while, they see a ghostly face appear at the window.
"It's a ghost, dude!"
"Roll down the window, ask him what he wants!" The driver rolls down the window, and asks the ghost.
"You got a smoke?" They give him a smoke, and the face goes away. A few minutes later, the face returns.
"You got a light?" They give a light, and the face goes away. A few minutes later, the face returns.
"You guys need help getting out the mud?"
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