Barroom jokes

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Barroom


donkeyboy
 
 
Bob and Jim walk into a bar. Bob says, 'Hey Donkeyboy, get me a drink.' The bartender gets him a drink. Bob says, 'Donkeyboy, get me another drink.' The bartender gets him another drink. Finally Jim says to the bartender, 'Why does he call you Donkeyboy?'

'I don't know. Hehawhehawhehawhe always calls me that.'
really bloody mary
 
 
How do you know your bartender doesn't like you any more?

There is a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary!

shoulda said
 
 
This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever.

'Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?'

'Dogs can't talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I'll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick your ass.'

'Okay,' says the guy. He turns to his dog. 'Okay fella. Tell me -- what is on top of a house?'

'Roof!' The man turns and smiles at the bartender.

'THAT ain't talking! Any dog can bark!'

'Okay boy. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel?'

'Ruff!"

'What the hell you tryin' to pull mister?'

'Okay, okay," says the man. "One more question please. Okay buddy, tell me -- who is the greatest ball player who ever lived?'

"Ruth."

The bartender beats the hell out of the guy and throws onto the sidewalk outside of the bar, then throws the dog out next to him. The dog stands up and looks at the guy.

"Geez. Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"

drug used to seduce men
 
 
Men, please read this if you go to bars or clubs:

Guys, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from a girl. There is a drug called "beer" that is essentially in liquid form.

The most effective varieties are being shipped in from other countries. "Beer" is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to convince their male victims to have sex with them.

The shocking statistic is that this "beer" is available virtually anywhere! All girls have to do is buy a beer or two for almost any guy and simply ask the guy home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are literally rendered helpless against such attacks. Please! Forward this to every man you know... There is safety in numbers...


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