Barroom jokes

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Barroom


elephant farts vs. saloon
 
 
What's the difference between a saloon and an elephant fart?
One's a bar room and the other is a BAROOOOM!
a drunk nose
 
 
A nose walks into a bar and asks for a drink.

The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you, you're off your face!"

feels like a fanny
 
 
Two old friends/enemies who love to take the piss out of each other are in a bar, drinking. One reaches over and feels the other's bald head.

"Good God! This feels just like my wife's ass!" The man whose head it is runs his hand over it, too.

"So it does! So it does!"

breaking the news is worth a beer
 
 
Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls 50 feet to the ground below and he is killed instantly.

After the coroner leaves with Steve's body, Bob volunteers to inform Steve's wife of the terrible news. Some two hours later, Bob returns to the work site with a six-pack of beer under his arms.

"Say, Bob, where did you get the six-pack?"

"Steve's wife gave it to me!"

"What! You just told her that Steve died and she gave you a six-pack?"

"Well, before I broke the news to her, I asked her if she was Steve's widow. And, she said she wasn't, so I said I'd bet her a six-pack she was!"


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