Barroom jokes

The Bartender was getting really grossed out and told the man sitting at the bar that next time she did that he was not going to give her a drink.

One minute later she said, 'Bartender, Bartender, get me another drink.'

The bartender said no. The man sitting there said, 'Oh give the poor ballerina another drink.'

The bartender said, 'How do you know she is a ballerina?'

The man replied, 'Well anyone that can lift there leg that high must be a ballerina!'

The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: 'Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!'

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, 'Got any nails?'

Confused, the bartender says no.

'Good!' says the duck. 'Got any grapes?'

"Yeah, a costume party," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look like Abe Lincoln." protested the barkeep.

"That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."

A redneck bar on friday night