Barroom jokes

There were two men sitting on a wall outside a pub called the Queen's Legs. A policeman came along and said, “What are you doing?” The two men said, “We're were wating for the Queen's Legs to open so we can have a drink.”

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to a local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears starnge noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!"

In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it go?" The first one answers. "It was embarrassing. I simply couldn't do it."

The second hobbit shook his head. "Manhood problems, eh?"

"No. I couldnt get on the bed!"

There are these 3 vampires. The first vampire walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of blood." The bartender gives him the shot of blood, the vampire drinks it, and leaves.

The second vampire walks into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of blood." The bartender gives him the shot of blood, the vampire drinks it, and leaves.

The third vampire walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of water."

The bartender says, "Why do you want a shot of water?"

The vampire pulls out a dirty tampon and says, "Tea time."

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the party?

He heard the drinks where on the house.