Barroom jokes

The leprechaun decided to go for it, and he succeed in making the donkey laugh. So he goes to the bartender and asks for his pot of gold. The bartender says, "Ok, but first you have to tell us how you did it."

The leprechaun says, "I can't tell you, it's a leprechaun secret."

So the bartender says, "Then I can't give you the pot of gold." The leprechaun gets very angry and walks off.

He comes back the next day and sees a sign that says: "Win a pot of gold if you can make the donkey cry." So he trys it, and he makes the donkey cry.

He goes up to the bartender and asks for his pot of gold. But the bar attendant tells him, "First you have to tell me how you did it.

So the leprechaun says, "Alright, yesterday I told him I told him that I have a bigger penis then him, and today I showed him."

Your Mother and Father Are of the Same Genetic Background

Mexicans Smell Vaguely of Jalapenos

Last Night You Enjoyed Carnal Pleasures With Your Sister

Your Intelligence Quota is Dubious at Best

For a Moderate Fee I Believe Your Mother Would Fellate Me

You Have Had Intimate Relations With a Person of African Descent and You Shall Never Know the Love of a Caucasian Again.

You Look Upon Your Dog With Lust

Methinks You Have the Odor of Fecal Matter Upon You

I Partook in Intercourse with Your Sister's Derriere

The Acne on Your Face Spreads Throughout Your Nether Regions

The People of France Know Not the Joys of Deodorant

A Hamster is Superior in Intelligence to Your Mother

For An Evening of Sordid Delights Involving Both Sadism and Masochism, Please Ring Mary at 212.555.5555

Ryan Beaugarde is Inadequate in the Ways of Oral Enjoyment

The Heavy Metal Rock Band Entitled Motley Crue is Quite First-Rate

Your Sexually Promiscuous Mother Can Be Found in the Phone Book Under "Whore"

Homosexuals Are Men Who Have Intercourse With Other Men. If You Participate in Such Activities You Are A Homosexual

Your Father's Proclivities Lead Him to Engage in Relations with Livestock

President Bush is Missing a Chromosome

The Toilet Upon Which You Currently Sit is Sprayed with a Mixture of Vomit, Feces and Urine.

"Sir, what are you yelling about? You're scaring the customers."

"Every time I try to flush the toilet something keeps biting my balls!"

"Sir, please get off the mop bucket."

The man replies, "Oh, it's the newest technology -- I have a phone built right into my hand." The man puts his hand next to the bartender's ear and, sure enough, the bartender hears a dial tone.

After a few drinks, the man goes into the bathroom. The bartender notices that he has been gone for almost a half-hour. Concerned, he goes into the bathroom to check it out. When he walks in, he sees the man with his hands on the wall standing with his legs apart and pants down. He has the end of a roll of paper towels shoved up his butt. Shocked, the bartender yells, "What are you doing?!"

The man groans and replies, "I'm waiting for a fax."