Barroom jokes

A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender, "I'll have a pint of beer and a ............................................................... packet of peanuts."

The bar tender said, "Why the big paws?"

A blonde sat at the bar when the bartender's son swaggers in. When he tells his father of his promotion and raise, the bartender calls for everyone's attention and announces that all drinks are on the house. When the blonde heard this, she ran outside and brought back a ladder.

A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Jim stops him and asks, "Hey Frank! Whacha get the case of beer for?" "I got it for my wife, eh." answers Frank. "Oh!" exclaims Jim, "Good trade."

A man walks into a bar, sits down on a bench and orders a cold one. He swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and orders another. He gulps down that one, looks in his pocket again, cringes and orders yet another one. This goes on for at least an hour and a half.
Finally the bartender, bursting with curiousity, says, "I know it's none of my business buddy, but I have to ask. Why the whole "drink, look in pocket, cringe and order another one" routine?"
"Well," slurred the man, "There's a picture of my wife in my pocket. When she starts to look good, then it's time for me to go home."